Doctor’s Orders

doctor's ordersI always follow doctor’s orders. For example, after my braces were removed, my orthodontist told me to wear my retainer every night. That was 42 years ago and I’m still wearing the friggin’ thing. My husband says it’s like going to be with a prize fighter. So when my doctor told to get a certain unpleasant test—I did it. You all know what I’m talking about, the dreaded colonoscopy.

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The Real Forbidden Fruit

apples-fruit-red-juicy-39028My baby-self was delivered by a Dr. Keibler. No wonder I’m a cookie addict. But as we all know: if a food tastes good, it’s bad for you. To me this proves that the universe is a cruel, sadistic joker that gives us taste buds that love sugar and fats, then tells us not to use them. It’s like saying to a man, “You know that appendage you’ve got down there, well, just ignore it.” We’ve been set up for failure ever since God said to Eve, “See that tree over there? Don’t eat from it.”

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