Dogs are easy to pick. You walk into a shelter and all the dogs bark, which is canine for, “Pick me, pick me. Me, me, me.” Then the tails wag, which means, “I’m friendly. I can be your new best friend. Say, have you lost weight? Because you look like you’ve lost weight.” Next is the licking. And ladies, here is the short-skirt warning: Any exposed skin is fair game. So cover any lady parts you don’t want licked. Dog slobber says, “You are mine. Take me home.”
The final step in choosing a dog is to close your eyes and pick any one of them; you can’t go wrong. Now cats are a different animal. While you pick a dog, a cat picks you. You may think you have control of this process, but that’s what cats want you to think. Play along with their grand scheme.
Let’s examine three cats.
Continue reading “How to Pick a Cat”
I’m young at heart. And I have a very youthful pancreas. In fact, my doctor said I have the gall bladder of a 20-year old. But though I think of myself as a kid, there comes a time to give up childish things—yet luckily for us, there is also a time to take them back. I think that time is around my age and the childish things I’m reclaiming are cat videos.
A few days ago this revelation struck me. I’d started to work on a chapter of my novel when a friend sent me a link to a cute cat video. This cat runs at top speed, dives into a box, slides across the floor and crashes into a sleeping dog. The dog wakes up and looks like, “What the heck just happened?” Continue reading “A Purrfect World”
Every woman needs a really mean cat who adores her. The kind of cat that when the vet sees him coming, he pulls on elbow length leather gloves like he’s about to wrestle an alligator. The kind of cat who has a big red sticker on his medical file that says, “Caution: I bite.” Continue reading “One Mean Cat”
To my cat, doors are the enemy. That includes the hall door where the evil vacuum lives, and the dreaded bathroom door, which she has learned to push open—self taught—to the surprise of guests who mutter, “Wait, wait. There’s someone in here.”
Continue reading “Why Cats Paint”